I tended to bite my lip more frequently when I am upset nervous. I couldn’t help being nervous around him; the male gender usually made me stand on guard. If I had distaste for a man, I made it known. I was not shy when it came to expressing hatred. I was awful when it came to conversing with handsome charming men. Some would often say that I acted too shy around the men for them to notice me. It was more on the basis of lock of interest in most of the Englishmen my family associated with. The man was simple; no not simple but calm and caring and honest.
“You ready darlin’ or are ya gonna stand there starin’ at me?”
“You really are full of yourself.” I mumbled as I walked into the stable and led the horse out.
“You are doin the easy job darlin’, I gotta clean out the stalls.”
“Well it is your job. I’m here just to help.”
Gerry started to haul the soiled hay into the wheelbarrow.
“I’ve been meaning to ask ya darlin’; why do ya help? I mean I’m glad to have ye to keep me company. But shouldn’t you rich blokes be inside sipping tea?”
I stopped grooming for a second and turned around to look at him. He was concentrating on his job; and didn’t look at me. But the slight furrow of his brow told me that something was wrong.
“You seem bitter.”
He stopped in mid scoop and looked at me. Sweat beginning to develop on his forehead. He set the hay in the wheelbarrow and leaned on the pitchfork for a second.
“I just wish…..” He went silent for a second. “I just wish that I could’ve been born into a family like yours. Ye have so many more opportunities then I will ever have.”
“You’re free though.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t have to live up to expectations. You don’t have to be forced to marry someone you don’t love. You aren’t expected to go and fight for our country.” I said softly; I knew that it was improper to raise my voice. Gerry was silent; he probably sensed my upset manner and was trying not to feed it.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to offend ye. Ye life seems so glamorous, can’t help but be jealous.” He said sincerely but I was too wrapped up in my own anger to accept it. I said nothing and I continued to groom the chestnut horse before me.
“I’m finished; I’ll go outside and help Billy.” I said as I but the grooming brushes away and tied the horse to the wooden pole so it wouldn’t get away. I felt Gerry put an arm on my shoulder. A chill went up my spine.
“Please don’t be angry; I’m very sorry, please…….” His voice drifted off. I bit my bottom lip and turned around. I looked at the ground; I knew that if I looked at him my anger would disappear. I was difficult to stay angry at someone like Gerry. He never would dare be cruel to anyone; it was just his nature. He put his index and middle finger under my chin and pulled my face up.
“It’s alright; forget it ever happened.”
I stepped back; Gerry’s hand dropped to his side in what seemed to be disappointment. I turned around and walked out of the stable to look for Billy. As I walked into the rain; heart pounded in my chest. I couldn’t think strait. I felt like I had a near- death experience. I could not be more delighted by the verification of his feelings towards me. Adrenalin seeped into my veins and it felt as though I could run for miles without rest.
